Spam

“Nothing else then?”

She sat with her hands on her slightly swollen stomach, rays from the sun shining through the window and dancing upon her burgundy tresses. A modest apartment close to the dock, there was barely enough room to fit a wooden rocking chair, a small bed, and a stand for the lamp. Her presence, however, made the place seem more like home then the rocking cabin aboard his boat. He felt disquieted by her intense stare, so he looked down and made an exaggerated gentleman’s bow.

“Gentle lady, I must depart for seas-”

“And leave a lady at home by herself again, without anything to remember him by?”

“But I’m sure that memories, and, and something else…”

“Yes, that something else? What shall I call that ‘something’? Have you even thought about-?”

“Yes! Of course I’ve-”

“So you knew all this time and just acted like you didn’t?” Her voice softened and he knew he had dug himself a hole.

“Yes… I mean, I, no, …yes. We can call him Thomas or her-”

“And the last name!?”

“I can’t, I have to set sail today.”

She stood, and stepped within a foot of him, and locked her brown eyes with his. A tear trailed its way down her cheek.

“If you love me, tell me with more then just words. You are the captain, you can decide to stay for a day. Just for a day. For me.”

“I have a duty to my country. I promise that when I return, I’ll marry you. I’m sorry.”
He looked away, unable to bare the disappointment he knew that was in her eyes. He felt the softness of her hand on his cheek, turned back to face her, and was met by her kiss. An eternity passed in the second before she withdrew.

“Go with God.”

“And may God protect you until I return.”

The image of her smile burdened by eyes of liquid sadness burned into his brain and his heart as he left. He shortened his tour from two weeks to five days, yet his crew never asked why. He imagined every one of his brother sailors looking at him with accusing eyes, yet he knew it was only his own doubts. A cold fear haunted him despite the calm weather.